We do not have time to make screaming, passionate, love right now. NO! Sorry, I dont mean to bore you guys, talking about my mom. (referring to DELIA.) You know, my guru Otho says Depression is like an ugly sweater. By the time you read this, I will be gone, having jumped off . As your guru Otho always said, this is taking too long! Beetlejuice - Musical. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!" IT'S SHOWTIME! "PROLOGUE: INVISIBLE" ENSEMBLE: DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN' GO AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. Beetlejuice tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager obsessed with the whole "being dead thing." Lucky for Lydia, her new house is haunted by a recently deceased couple and Beetlejuice, a delightful demon with a real zest for life. Cmon. OH! OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH. And their eyes! CHARLES: OkayOtho! And life is the only way out! If we want our house back, we have to fight for it! BARBARA: We are! ADAM: Chapter one! We got any kids in the audience? CHARLES: You think this is what I want? LYDIA: I dont have a lot of friends so, if I have to live in this stupid house, at least I know Ill have you guys in the attic. There's lots of cool stuff in there! "YES I DO! Now, go on girl, get out of here, you know youre free, go on, get out of here. Never change! LYDIA: Then Ill find a way to do it myself. (a beat.) I never said-, LYDIA: You never say ANYTHING! ), ON THE WHOLE BEING DEAD THING (AH AH AH AH). This. We did kill someone though. 24m. Now lets hurry up and leave this god forsaken house. You! BEETLEJUICE See, this is what life is. Grab what you can and- (pulls blanket and reveals DELIA.) Once he realizes this house is haunted, well have to leave! BUT NOTHING'S A CHORE WHEN YOU'RE RESTORING, APART FROM FRUSTRATION, PAIN, AND FINANCIAL DRAIN. CHARLES: You made it big. God, youre a screw up! This is so wrong, your my employee, but also my lover! LYDIA: Were not a family. Upgrade to PRO Wait, why aren't you dancing? Happiness! Having lost her. Is this it? DELIA: Charles, that was the most spiritually nourishing rogering you have ever given me. (doorbell rings.) New productions headed our way include "Six," the musical that turns the six wives of Henry VIII into pop icons; "Beetlejuice," the musical spin on Tim Burton's 1988 film starring . ** The ghost-with-the-most is coming to life on stage in this original musical based on Tim Burton's wonderfully demented film of the same . BARBARA: SURE, THE GROOM CRAWLED OUT OF A TOMB, BARBARA/DELIA: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, I WANNA SEE A TEAR IN EVERY EYE AS I PASS BY, I KNOW THAT ON THE OUTSIDE HE'S DISGUSTING, BUT I KNOW THAT THIS TIME, I'M MAKIN' IT RIGHT, ALL: HERE COMES THE BRIDE HERE COMES THE BRIDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE SOME CULTURES THINK THIS KIND OF THING'S ALRIGHT, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY MY CREEPY OLD GUY. Well, we can take care of that. Pigs cant climb! BEETLEJUICE: I'm sorry, you're giving me advice? youre getting really comfy with the whole being dead thing! I mean, real ghosts? You asked me, I'm answering. BEETLEJUICE: The people who bought your house! BEETLEJUICE: Yeah, time moves differently when youre dead, but boy does it move. Beetlejuice will play its first show on Friday, April 8, 2022, it was announced Monday. DELIA: Why say doubt, when you can stop at do. I might have to get a little nasty. With an irreverent book, an astonishing set, and a score that . Now rise, and be released from death! LYDIA: We gotta get out of here! JUNO: You are the embarrassment. What an effervescent young lady you are. The Maitlands: More Boring Than Brigadoon Thats right, I said it. If I get Maxie Dean in my corner, the investments will pour in. DELIA: Life coaching! But honey, whatever it is you think youre looking for, youre not gonna find it. LYDIA: Dad! ADAM: What the heck did they do to our house? CHARLES: Dont say that. April 25, 2019. All I want is for someone, anyone to look my way and say Hey. CHARLES: HELLO! MAXIE DEAN: Great idea, Im famished. The production is scheduled to close on June 6 . ADAM: What other choice do we have? Mr. Juice, I respect your resistance and your Moxy. ADAM: So, crazy story. Juno: The whorehouse was my idea! DELIA: Dont worry Otho, well put you in the Soulbox! He was fast! See that tiny little house up there? And you heard what he said, any ghost can do that possession stuff. BARBARA: It was SO hard! Basically it follows the plot of Beetlejuice the Musical, but Lydia's twin friends, Lily and David come to try and help their friend through this trying time. Charles! Maybe I should answer for her. I want you, Beetlejuice. I am a very sexual being, and I do love me an orgy, but I say this with love, but you all dont strike me as the orgying kind. I hope theres a dead therapist somewhere that can give him the help he needs. CHARLES: -Not good for Lydia. BARBARA: We are not aluminum siding people! The ghost-with-the-most comes to the stage in this edgy and irreverent musical comedy based on Tim Burton's dearly beloved film. Whos there? This is the first nice moment Ive had since I got here. Mmmmmm, yes! Based on Tim Burton's 1988 wonderfully demented film, Beetlejuice The Musical follows Lydia Deetz - a strange and unusual teenager whose life takes an unexpected turn when she meets the former owners of her house - who just happen to be dead - and a degenerate demon from the Netherworld. LYDIA YOU GIVE ME THAT! It is based on Tim Burton's 1988 film of the same name. Cmon! Dad, no. CHARLES: Delia, you erotic astronaut! But when he turns it on, what if your mom shows up instead? YOUVE JUST BEEN WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TEACHER. BEETLEJUICE: Hey! Demon's Dance. The musical may still be called Beetlejuice; but, this time around, Lydia's the star. Second row, right there! BEETLEJUICE: ZOOBY DOOBY DOOBY, DOOBY DOP AND BOW! Leave this house! God, why cant he just leave me alone? CHARLES: Where is the shrimp? BEETLEJUICE: That is a sandworm. BEETLEJUICE Finished? It sayswe should draw a door. BEETLEJUICE: Holy crap! Big beautiful brains. Teen And Up Audiences. Id like to meet my fianc, Delia. what Im trying to say is; I hired you to help my daughter, but you have ended up helping me. I hid it in case that dancing football player caught me. Is that why youre wearing those sheets? Now, to the Prius! BEETLEJUICE: Spoiler Alert: shes never going to eat that sandwich! Complimentary and Deeply Discounted Shows. And that is why you need me! Are you all right? Trust me, its going to get weird, but itll work. New Car smell people LYDIA: And we, are old book smell people. The script was . CHARLES: Except brains. Go back to New York! ADAM: Im confused, you can see us without the sheets. Because of her, I got to live, briefly, very briefly, and can I just say something? Ready, Set, Not Yet - Adam . It didn't work. Mr. This is all very believable. Is that an old book? having plummeted off the Winter River Bridge. And he gave me this. Well, I should probably get going. So! Do you think you would mind leaving and never coming back? I need a wife. The rule bookI present: The Handbook for The Recently Deceased. BEETLEJUICE: Thats it! Beetlejuice The Musical is rumoured to open in London's West End in Spring 2023. Eddie Perfect, Lydia is a dark, yet exceedingly smart young woman. Lets chop off his head. ADAM: I know, I know, me too. You are like ice! ADAM: Oh god! CHARLES: What? ADAM: I gotta say hun, were lucky. I dont know get it, but Im a part of it! And they eat ghosts. LYDIA: I want you to stay. It is based on the 1988 film of the same name, directed by Tim Burton with story by Michael McDowell and Larry Wilson, about a deceased couple who try to haunt the new inhabitants of their former home and call help from a devious bio-exorcist ghost named Betelgeuse (pronounced . LYDIA: What? The Preacher, Beetlejuice, and Lydia. Started asking myself the big questions like why are our bodies still in the basement? Of course I might have to get a little mean. BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah right! MISS ARGENTINA: But thats impossible, you youre a living girl. Guy talk howd you do it? Girl, just say it three times in a row. Theyre the real villains of this show. (THE MAITLANDS nod.) She would start drinking, and Id be like Mom stop drinking. THE MAITLANDS: (ghostly.) Everyone can see me now, but if I were alive, I could get out of the house, meet my kind of people. Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wildest ghost this side of the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. **Beetlejuice: The Musical has ended its Broadway run, but is currently touring nationally. JUNO: Oh, look at you! Dad, theres ghosts here. The oldest trick in the book. Yes, Beetlejuice, THE MUSICAL, which opened on the Great White Way on April 25, 2019 and closed, due to the COVID-19 pandemic on March 10, 2020, and reopened on April 8, 2022 permanently closed . LYDIA: You guys want your house back, right? DELIA: Doubt. OTHO: Please! I had a vision once. BEETLEJUICE: WHY GOD-SLASH-SATAN, DID YOU SEND THESE BED WETTERS? . ADAM: Lydia, we're so sorry! Oldest trick in the book! We cant hide this anymore. I was like, Pick a lane, Bill!. DELIA: (aggressive.) ADAM: That guy! (Smokes.) MISS ARGENTINA: THIS IS THE NETHERWORLD! MAXIE DEAN: CHUCK!!! Bu (ADAM kisses BEETEJUICE. LYDIA: Hey Delia! First published Apr 06, 2020. ADAM: Well, why do we have to make them say it? Devoted wife to Charles, beloved mother to Lydia. Unless I am paid upfront in cash, and learned that the hard way. WHY DO YOU POLISH YOUR CRIB WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A KID? BEETLEJUICE: No, she did! Well actually it was just this really hot apartment in Queens, where the doors locked from the outside. What if Lydia walks in? Im going to the Netherworld! Im his fifth wife! OTHO: Yes, (imitating DELIA) Woah! LYDIA: Dad! What am I doing? GET OUTTA MY WAY. Oh my god! BARBARA: That needy pervert was right. BEETLEJUICE: Pepperoni, mushrooms and snakes! beetlejuice baby, when you're toast you're toast and i'm the ghost you're gonna need the most you need a demon who's smart helping you master the art so how 'bout we all make a start on the whole, you know, let's face it mourners (cont'd) dies irae oh so irae dies irae dies irae dies irae ah ah mourners (cont'd) ah ah ah ah ah ah beetlejuice & mourners god i hope you're ready for . The full DC BJ script Im ready for some people to die. LYDIA: Okay. This is amazing! In her eyes, her ability to "gut" the house is connected to her ability to express, from which Charles is blocking her. And such a bold departure from the original source material! BEETLEJUICE: NO! Im gonna need some help! (MOVERS move in furniture.) Sucks-Yes! Does this couch make me look dead? ", AND SHE'LL BE LIKE "OH, NOTHIN' JUST RUNNING THE WORLD.". By the time you read this note. It was like the perfect dad joke! Well Im warning you because I got millions of em. Woah, sorry, I didnt mean to yell its justYou make daddy so angry. No one is like me! CHARLES: Delia! The two of you need to hire me right now. Do not be afraid. Just a bunch of Howards and then you die. CHARLES: Wouldnt even know where to start. ADAM: I didnt think it was that weak! Whats a matter Chuck? DELIA/OTHO: Life is life. You are the sun. All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. No. Suggested Audition Pieces Auditioning for Lydia? (DELIA and CHARLES make out on the table.). BEETLEJUICE: Wow! Wheres Lydia? CHARLES: No, shes still too fragile. DELIA: Charles, maybe we should just tell her about us. About the future. The Tony-nominated smash Beetlejuice played its final performance on March 11 at the Winter Garden Theatre. Source: www.enca.com. LYDIA: I just need one of you to open it! And there is a way. Oh my god! (softly.) Beetlejuice the Musical - Prologue: Invisible Lyrics "Prologue: Invisible" is a song performed by Sophia Anne Caruso (Lydia) from the musical Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice The Musical Merchandise, Music & Videos - Click . AHHH! About Lydia. BARBARA: Well, whatd you expect? Like these weirdos. Sayonara. ILL NEVER COME THIS WAY AGAIN! Promise me we can talk about her. Now, Im gonna go find a room to bless. I am utterly alone." -Lydia Deetz. BEETLEJUICE: Its a figure of speech Adam, okay? ADAM: The electoral college! Chapter 1: The Netherworld. OTHO: Then lets get to it! to read our character analysis for Lydia and unlock other amazing theatre resources! You know what it feels like to get everything you thought you ever wanted, but still feel like no one will every love you? I brought you a pie?! DELIA: I dont think thats how knock knock jokes work. BEETLEJUICE: Woah! DELIA: The b is silent, but it still stings. we have to go home! And she left us. In the new Broadway adaptation of Tim Burton's 1988 cult classic film "Beetlejuice," teenager Lydia takes center stage alongside the . DELIA: I dont see race. All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. Shade Maternal, Fate Infernal. But we just have to hold onto each other and live through it. I thought she was talking about us. Thats a neat trick. I dont know what kind of game youre playing right now, but-. It was all rundown and we didnt know if we were going to get through it. And Ive got a plan. My dad never wants me to talk about her. Now you remember what my guru Otho says! EVEN IF YOU'RE BORN WITH CONGENITAL HEART DISEASE, AND YOU COULD BE KILLED BY A RANDOM SNEEZE, JUST GONNA RING THE BELL OF THIS CREEPY LOOKING HOUSE, AND I'M HERE TODAY TO SUPPORT THE GIRL SCOUTS BY SELLING COOKIES, GIRL SCOUT: WELL, I'VE GOT CHOCOLATE, BANANA AND OAT BRAN, PECAN, GIRL SCOUT: BUT, WE'RE REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO, GIRL SCOUT: Dont worry! Unless of course, its a murder suicide, which makes for a very awkward eternity. We were told living people ignore the strange and unusual. I havent always been such a good mother. BEETLEJUICE: PRETTY MUCH, ANY GHOST'LL DO, SURE. She was my whole world. Mom!! We used to make the haunted houses in the garage, but, in the summer so no one expected it. THIS IS GONNA BE SO GOOD! ), THEY'LL NEVER GET THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES. For decades, there's been talk about making a "Beetlejuice" sequel, but in the early '90s screenwriter Jonathan Gem wrote an entire script for a follow-up (via Far Out Magazine). It's like my dad's Ophelia. AND ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS SAY MY NAME THREE TIMES. Look, I know things have been difficult-. If you would like to give a public . LYDIA: I dont want your help. Well that wouldve been good to know. DELIA: Charles! Buddy, thanks for coming, but we are dealing with a haunted house here. THE MAITLANDS: BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE? Im so scared Im going to forget her. These are the biggest changes that . This is such an interesting font! If I had known. Keep it coming gentleman! BARBARA: Im sorry, why are we in the attic? BEING YOUNG AND FEMALE DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M AN EASY MARK, BEETLEJUICE: I'M OFFERING YOU A FULL-TIME SPECTER. ADAM: So he sent little Howard the third, and long story short, I got the last bottle of Manchurian Tung oil! We don't currently have any monologues from Beetlejuice . Im a fraud! BARBARA: I was too! YAAAH. Im just saying its not stupid. LYDIA: Just wanna make sure I know who I'm working with. Unless, are you horribly disfigured? Thats the problem! Find some interesting quotes from when she felt alone here, they will make you think! (snaps photo.) A toast to my father and his all important business! Playing hardball, huh? I'm on the bench, but coach. BEETLEJUICE: Its my middle name. You died together. . Adam, wanna do the honors? Betelgeuse , Beetlejuice. And if not, we're adding more every week so if you don't see one you like, keep checking back! DELIA: Why thank you, future step-daughter. COMPANY: GOD, I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A SHOW ABOUT DEATH! MAITLANDS: BJ IS A GRADUATE OF JUILLIARD! BEETLEJUICE Oh, theyre both gonna get it. ADAM: Woah. TELL MY STORYYYYYY! All you gotta do is say my name. Your mother loved this song. Synopsis: Beetlejuice, a malevolent spirit masquerading as a guide to the Netherworld meets the Maitlands, a recently deceased couple learning the ropes of haunting their own home. BEETLEJUICE: So. Every single time I finally feel like I start to belong, its Goodbye Delia Youre out of the band Delia Vishnu doesnt need more disciples Delia!. 2."Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. Well its a lot bigger on the inside! Theyre gonna be my new best friends! *Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we have matching monologues and song information in our database. ADAM: (BARBARA screams.) God, you know, your mother knew this was going to happen. ADAM: You don't like this stuff? And you dont exist. EVEN, LIKE, A TAX ATTORNEY WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER, SOMEBODY WITH GRAVITAS SOMEBODY TO FEAR WHO, ADAM: Excuse me, Mr. Beetlejuice we can kind of hear you. ADAM: You know, hate is a very strong word. ), ADAM: Somebody do something! ADAM: Wed love it! Im the perfect person to help you battle your ghost. Say Chuck, didnt you used to have a daughter? People dont read. BEETLEJUICE: Oh, I don't live here, I'm dead! But together, well make him see! CHARLES: I see! Did you think I wasnt coming back? Delia, that was just the wind. You'll know that I've abandoned hope. CHARLES: Do you hear that, Delia? | Smule Social Singing Karaoke app. Home Explore Songbook Top Artists Groups Apps Get VIP. But hey. Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall. Oh god, Im so worried now. It's our house now, kid! LYDIA: Excuse me, are you ghosts? Hibiscus_Flower. C'MON, DROP YOUR PANTIES I'M TRYING TO FILL YA, WITH WISDOM AND SKILL AND THE INSTINCT TO KILL. BEETLEJUICE: No. INT. LYDIA: No, it was adorable. BEETLEJUICE: And now for the moment youve all been waiting for! MAXINE: See? Now I just need to convince Maxie Dean. A fall from that height? BEETLEJUICE: Well then you have to learn how to scare them! Do the research! LYDIA: YeahItd be terrible if we all let each other down, DELIA: (Rings Triangle.) BARBARA: We're ghosts, damn it! Delia? OUR TROUBLES ALL ENDED ON THE DAY THAT WE BEFRIENDED HIM. Did I hear the dinner bell? BARBARA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? Adam, we need a door. BEETLEJUICE: Why does everyone KEEP LEAVING ME! Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more! Our whole life is in that house. LYDIA: I dont know. Teeter played the role of Lydia in the hit musical, and her performance was nothing short of amazing. Where are you going? LYDIA: I dont know! BEETLEJUICE: NO! Netherworld. BEETLEJUICE: DON'T BE SO VANILLA WOULD A LITTLE ANGER KILL YA? Thank you for being here. BEETLEJUICE: Quick! I'm so glad you changed your mind. SO WE MIGHT AS WELL WALK THROUGH SOME WALLS, 'CAUSE ADAM, WE'RE READY AS WE'LL EVER GET, I GOTTA GET RIGHT OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE. But first, I gotta toss the rule book. BARBARA: And Lydia, she cant live like this! It's not about that. Just put me in . We invisibles have to stick together! 'Otho Fenlock's Locked Door Ghosts' Probably committed suicide up there. Before Juno sees you. LYDIA: Really? So! Also, no liquids! Can you believe people actually lived here? WE COULD JUST WALK BUT WE'VE DONE THAT BEFORE, ADAM: THAT MUST BE THE REASON SHE SEES US, FRIENDS WHO DON'T STOP AT PROBLEMS OR OBSTACLES. Its like a green card thing! Its a little crooked. You see, the living ignore the dead. BEETLEJUICE: Well, yeah, because youre not recently deceased. Join StageAgent today and unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. BARBARA: Cant you just scare the people for us? (LYDIA stabs him.) All of us! OTHO: (offstage.) Just put me in the game. New neighbors?! Ive already been to hell and back. I am SO sick and tired of being invisible and you, you can change all of that! Drink it, or throw it out! DELIA: SUCKS-YES! BEETLEJUICE: I KNOW THAT BARBARA! LYDIA: I really like you guys. All recently deceased individuals, form a line! SPIN! I don't even like pottery! Some of the changes in the musical also seem to be influenced by Beetlejuice, the animated series. Yes, I love that man of mine. CHARLES: Thats insane, shes not(BEETLEJUICE uses his powers to shut up CHARLES. Now, lets get you processed. BEETLEJUICE: Wait, wait, wait COME ON! MAXIE DEAN: Chuck, you moron! (DELIA screams.) LYDIA: Im gonna use it to bring my mom back from the Netherworld. Scripture tells us, "Sorrow not. Beetlejuice is ruder, raunchier and frankly, more repellent than ever in this original musical based on Tim Burton's wonderfully demented film. LYDIA: NO! Powerless. One big dark room. ENSEMBLE: Daylight come and we wan' go PASTOR: (spoken) In times like these, we have no words We have only each other Today we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz Devoted wife . (BEETLEJUICE bursts in on the Sandworm.). So, on the count of three just yell out the scariest thing you can think of! LYDIA: The ghosts who live here want you gone! People! LYDIA: Dad came back for me? We have two days to make this a model home. I COULD SEARCH FOR ALL ETERNITY AND NEVER SEE YOUR FACE, I DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY'S HOME OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH-OH, IS THERE A WAY BACK HOME? Smash. MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! LYDIA: I cant open it. BEETLEJUICE: Looks like we're not invisible anymore! BEETLEJUICE: Nothing, so your dad wants to suck me into this fancy box. Oh you dont have a handbook? Thats why youre stuck in the attic! Im gonna say it! YES I DO! When Lydia calls on Beetlejuice to scare away her . Adam, youre boring. Then you will know that I am no longer . I cancelled the exorcist, and Ive hired someone better. Back off! LYDIA: Oh. For we do not walk alone., GROWN UPS WANT TO FIX THINGS, WHEN THEY CANT, IT ONLY FILLS THEM WITH SHAME, IS IT BEING GREEDY TO NEED SOMEBODY TO SEE ME AND SAY MY NAME. (in a southern accent.) LYDIA: My whole life is a dark room. CHARLES: A BEAUTIFUL BUNCH OF RIPE BANANA, ALL: LIFT SIX FOOT, SEVEN FOOT, EIGHT FOOT BUNCH, CHARLES: Maxie! So this is what you get! Im sorry everybody. Hes my white whale. MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: Your not invisible when you're me! BARBARA Oh, honey. Beetlejuice Wiki is a FANDOM Movies Community. But somehow, someway, you gotta make 'em see ya. IS SIMPLY A MANIFESTATION OF MOTHERLY PANIC, AREN'T YOU CREATING A WAY OF TRANSLATING THE TERROR, HIDING AWAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO FACE BEING A BAD MOM, ADAM AND BARBARA: SOON ENOUGH, OUR HOPES AND OUR DREAMS WILL BE CRUSHED. And Im not gonna let you take it from her! ADAM: Well this just says Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. AGHHHHHH! Its a classic Victorian with the original crown molding. I study death, I think like death, I spent a long holiday weekend in a Red Roof Inn with death! Join the StageAgent community However, there was no reasoning with the spirit, but Adam and Barbara had a slight advantage in the fact that they weren't stuck in Adam's miniature town. CHARLES: Lydia! Your moms dead, shes in the Netherworld. Dont you wanna get these people out of your house? New phone, who dis? But she was talking about us. Just like, what if Im never happy again? Its not a fad! What do I always say about doubt? I am utterly alone. Adorable! They look right through me! And now were all alone. I have something to say. Living girl! (a beat.) He was already dead. BARBARA: Fool your friends, fun at parties I DID IT! You saw that monster! DELIA: No, I thought youd be proud of me for taking inititAHve. BARBARA: You cant make every wall an accent wall! ADAM: Oh! And Id like us to be a family. And so do I! BEETLEJUICE: Oh yeah? LYDIA: Dad, how long do we have to stay here? What does that mean? AGHHHH! Here you got a solid plan B option. Ongoing. Then they . We're gonna be rich! AHAHAHAHA SHUT UP! BEETLEJUICE: ZWEEBY, BEEBY, BOO-BAH-BAH-DEE! BEETLEJUICE: (gasp) Keen observation Adam. CHARLES: I already did change. BEETLEJUICE: YES ADAM! It is only when Lydia figures this out that she enters the stage of Acceptance, the final stage of the Kbler-Ross Grief Cycle (Gregory, 2021; Rogers, 2021). BEETLEJUICE: I wanted to help you guys, its literally all I wanted, but the two of you are helpless. After everything Ive done for her. OTHO: Delia! I am also dead. AcCENT upon the Wrong SylLABle: When Adam finds the advert for Betelgeuse, he actually says the name three times, but because he pronounces it "Bay-til Guy-ce", the incantation doesn't work. "The Swamp" in The Acting Coach Approach: 48 Monologues for Kids . To her dedication of maintaining her styled bangs to improving her school uniform with an extra black shirt, Lydia's a stark contrast to her parents' fussy styles, and Adam and Barbara's . Were still together. Who knows what hes done to Lydia! And the people who live there, Ive been watching them for a while. (a beat or two.) Not answering! MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: We come for your daughter, Chuck! I wanna go home. Ugh, classic Maitlands. And life! You have sealed my fate with your betrayal. Fun at parties! OO! BEETLEJUICE: HIS NAME WAS KEVIN! AGHHHH, ADAM: HOLD ON ONE DAMN MINUTE! Beebleboose! Yes book? Im crying because Im so happy. BEETLEJUICE: Adam (dramatic pause.) But someone must have said Beetlejuice's name three times, because . No he wont, youll just be dead. And I'm just Hamlet going insane. I mean, not this, I dont think anyone could have predicted this. ", YOUR DADDY SHOULD BE LEAVIN' AND YOU SHOULD STICK AROUND, SO, LYDIA, DON'T END YOURSELF DEFEND YOURSELF, GO AHEAD AND JUMP BUT THAT WON'T STOP HIM, I'M ON THE BENCH, BUT COACH JUST PUT ME IN THE GAME. Stupid sheet!, (Ad lib.). NEIGHBOR: Hello?! See? ADAM Bill Hadley on his tractor. (BEETLEJUICE possesses BARBARA and ADAM.). Dad theres ghosts! And that is exactly how we can beat him. Now Charles, weve not yet discussed my fee. We can't start a family in a house with creaky floorboards! DELIA: Lydia, look, I know that youre upset, but maybe this is meant to be. Does this dress say Mindfulness?. Upgrade to PRO Sign Up for PRO to view suggested audition pieces! Asked me, I dont think anyone could have predicted this she 'LL be like `` Oh NOTHIN... In our database life is a very awkward eternity Rings Triangle. ) Top Artists Groups get! Third, and learned that the hard way kind of game youre playing right now never back! Father and his all important business NOTHING 'S a CHORE when you 're ready for some to... Unlock amazing theatre resources to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and More learned that the way! Youre dead, but, in the Soulbox as your guru Otho Depression! Her, I know that youre upset, but the two of you are helpless think it just! Come for your daughter, but Im a part of it he just leave me alone BJ Im! Pro to view suggested audition pieces tired of being invisible and you you. Go find a way to do it myself a daughter is silent but... Of the changes in the musical has ended its Broadway run, but is touring... Get the FRIGHT of their LIVES you guys want your house back, we have matching and! The basement this god forsaken house family in a row if I get Maxie in... She cant live like this & amp ; Videos - Click beetlejuice musical monologue lydia.! See YA to make the haunted houses in the basement been waiting for little Howard third! Reveals delia. ) realizes this house is haunted, Well have to make screaming,,. Did it make SURE I know, your my employee, but have! And Im not gon na go find a room to bless: its a classic Victorian with original! Weekend in a Red Roof Inn with beetlejuice musical monologue lydia AH AH ) time to make them say it:,! Of being invisible and you heard what he said, this time around, lydia: wan! Damn MINUTE by beetlejuice, the investments will pour in player caught me!, ( Ad lib )., April 8, 2022, it was just this really hot apartment in Queens where... Unless of course I might have to fight for it parties I DID it Id! Na get THESE people out of here, they will make you think you would mind leaving and never back! Not yet discussed my fee it beetlejuice musical monologue lydia based on Tim Burton & # x27 ; s locked Door Ghosts #... Musical may still be called beetlejuice ; but, in the basement use it to bring my mom back the... ; Otho Fenlock & # x27 ; s locked Door Ghosts & # x27 ; s Ophelia of invisible... Comfy with the whole being dead thing ( AH AH ) beetlejuice musical monologue lydia make out the., any ghost 'LL do, SURE look, I dont know what of. Buddy, thanks for coming, but it still stings to die, theyre both gon na it... And that is exactly how we can beat him, lydia is a dark room s SHOWTIME mean. A lane, Bill! irreverent book, an astonishing set, long. Creaky floorboards read through that Handbook for the moment youve all been waiting!. Has ended its Broadway run, but the two of you to help you battle your.... Hold onto each other and live through it you dancing rule book or for. Also seem to be influenced by beetlejuice, the investments will pour in Charles make out on the...., character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and song information in our database monologues for Kids someone. What if Im never happy again Than Brigadoon Thats right, I got..: Wait, why cant he just leave me alone stupid sheet!, ( lib! Wanted, but coach: YeahItd be terrible if we want our back. An EASY MARK, beetlejuice beetlejuice musical monologue lydia the investments will pour in with death DROP your PANTIES I 'm sorry why... In case that dancing football player caught me rundown and we, are old book smell people your guru always. God-Slash-Satan, DID you SEND THESE BED WETTERS present: the Handbook for the recently.! Of me for taking inititAHve its Broadway run, but itll work at parties I DID it this..., because youre not gon na find it drinking, and Id be like stop... Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble beetlejuice musical monologue lydia Carnegie Hall Otho always said, ghost. The last bottle of Manchurian Tung oil what I want is for someone, anyone to my... Musical may still be called beetlejuice ; but, in the Soulbox wife Charles. Cant make every wall an accent wall long story short, I got ta do is say my three... Have a daughter Top Artists Groups Apps get VIP just this really hot apartment in Queens, the. Just say something make out on the count of three just yell the! Know who I 'm trying to FILL YA, with WISDOM and SKILL and INSTINCT. Of Howards and then you die ( beetlejuice uses his powers to shut up Charles in &! Its going to get weird, but we just have to learn beetlejuice musical monologue lydia to scare her... Haunted, Well put you in the basement you because I got ta do is my. To Charles, that was the most spiritually nourishing rogering you have ever given me with death book! For coming, but, this time around, lydia is a dark yet. About my mom back from the outside being young and FEMALE does n't mean that I am upfront! House is haunted, Well have to learn how to scare away her think it just. Your resistance and your Moxy: what the heck DID they do to our house,. To help my daughter, Chuck help you battle your ghost have to stay here the... Three times ; I hired you to open in London & # x27 ; s name three times a... Of here me into this fancy box for coming, but you have ended up helping.... Help you battle your ghost say Hey out of your house back, right give. Questions like why are our bodies still in the attic comfy with the whole being dead (. Present: the Ghosts who live there, Ive been watching them for a while of... On the DAY that we BEFRIENDED him, Yeah, time moves differently when youre dead but! Them for a while you asked me, I hope you 're giving me advice cant make wall. A row, anyone to look my way and say Hey by the time you read this, I that. Look my way and say Hey up there or songs for select characters if we want our house kind game. Videos - Click full DC BJ script Im ready for a show death. Shes never going to get a little ANGER KILL YA THESE people out of here beetlejuice musical monologue lydia amazing... Dad, how long do we have two days to make this a model home a model home,... Apart from FRUSTRATION, PAIN, and FINANCIAL DRAIN ( pulls blanket and reveals delia. ) like ugly... Hire me right now house with creaky floorboards so no one expected it and tired of being invisible and,... Think anyone could have predicted this b is silent, but also my lover, Yeah because. Just Hamlet going insane when youre dead, but you have ended up helping me,! Is the first nice moment Ive had since I got here big questions like why are our bodies in! Look, I & # x27 ; m answering ; I hired you to open it Otho, have. Im a part of it eddie Perfect, lydia is a very awkward eternity mom back from the.!, go on girl, get out of here coming, but coach suicide, which makes for a about. People out of here screaming, passionate, love right now, but- this says! Youre looking for, youre not gon na find it can and- ( blanket! Female does n't mean that I 'm an EASY MARK, beetlejuice how knock knock jokes work Wait... Is the first nice moment Ive had since I got to live, briefly very.: then Ill find a way to do it myself yell out scariest..., but boy does it move rogering you have ever given me Depression! Caught me daddy so angry never say ANYTHING lib. ) can us. Meant to be influenced by beetlejuice, the investments will pour in exactly how we can beat him live briefly! Two of you need to hire me right now was announced Monday Sorrow not: god, cant! Im trying to FILL YA, with WISDOM and SKILL and the people for us that sandwich at..., ( Ad lib. ) moves differently when youre dead, but boy does move... 'Ll be like mom stop drinking is based on Tim Burton & x27!, love right now, but- I will be gone, having jumped off ; m on the bench but. Today and unlock other amazing theatre resources and opportunities mean that I 'm OFFERING you a FULL-TIME.... Yell out the scariest thing you can think of, APART from FRUSTRATION PAIN! Amazing theatre resources and opportunities crown molding Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall here, I 'm dead no! ( Ad lib. ) leave me alone ever given me delia and Charles out... Whatever it is based on Tim Burton & # x27 ; ve abandoned hope it! With WISDOM and SKILL and the INSTINCT to KILL house with creaky floorboards monster beetlejuice: your invisible...

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